All I can think is…I have no idea where to begin. The end of a chapter, the (supposed) beginning of another. But how do I start? How to take that terrifying initial step into the unknown, where fear and uncertainty inevitably reside; this is my challenge.
A “personal leave of absence” from the upcoming school year. My very own journey of supposed soul-searching and truth-finding has begun. I should feel excited and ready to jet off at any second. And yet I hesitate…because where do I even go from here? Is this a life I can come back to? Can I settle for the mundanity that has become my everyday existence, regardless of how much time I take off? I wish I had some token, a talisman, a crystal ball to tell me which way to turn. And yet I feel (and fear) I already know the answer:
No. No, I can’t.
This truth came to me in the unexpected form of a long-lost friend with whom I was reunited just last week. We spoke, we reconnected, and I instantly remembered what it felt like to be home. That pit-of-the-gut instinct immediately reminded me that I had lost a vital piece somewhere along the way…and I am so grateful to have been reacquainted with my quest.
I will not live a mediocre life. I can not and will not settle for anything less than amazing. And that first step must be taken by no one but me.